I went shopping with Mom today. As much as I hate shopping, she wouldn't stop bugging me. And I knew she was going to spend money on me because of the big argument we had last night. And I know her well enough to know that I wasn't going to hear an apology but she was going to buy me things instead. Because well, I guess Hallmark doesn't make greeting cards that say, "Dear daughter, I'm emotionally retarded and don't know how to apologize, so please accept this card instead." And even if they did I think I'd prefer the sneaky spending of money on me rather than a blunt card with a bunch of roses on it. Its not something I would exactly want to keep in my memory box if you know what I mean.
We went out to eat and then Mom went to a few stores for herself. Taking her sweet time while I glared death glares at anybody that bumped into me or rather came close to doing so. You would think as much as my family drags me to go shopping I would eventually get used to it. But I still hate it and can't help but wear my hoody. I feel so self conscious and even though I'm sure I get more stares with the hoody in the 90 degree weather rather than just not wearing it, I can't help but wear the comforting thing. I suppose I have always been like that though. I remember when I went to school I would wear a jacket all year long. No fake! People used to ask me why I would always wear it. But if they got to know me a little more like Cynthia, it was easily rided off as me just always being cold. Those were the days when I had the nice knee length black leather jacket with the hood. Oh man, I miss that jacket! I could easily go into how hoodies and jackets could easily represent the wall that I alway put around myself to keep my emotions in. Just because that thought has occurred to me before. But I don't feel like it, I am actually not feeling that emotional or depressed as I previously have been this week.
I guess that is one thing I will look forward to about fall and winter. I will be able to wear a jacket and or hoody without being looked like a freak. In the summer its a bit hard to walk around without them. But at least I mastered my ability to finally wear a bathing suit without freaking out! Yay! Standing ovation, please. You've all seen the white bikini with the cute little black hearts, come on!!
Anyway, at least I got Austin's birthday gift today. And I got two new Twilight shirts that mom bought me. /rolls eyes
We went out to eat and then Mom went to a few stores for herself. Taking her sweet time while I glared death glares at anybody that bumped into me or rather came close to doing so. You would think as much as my family drags me to go shopping I would eventually get used to it. But I still hate it and can't help but wear my hoody. I feel so self conscious and even though I'm sure I get more stares with the hoody in the 90 degree weather rather than just not wearing it, I can't help but wear the comforting thing. I suppose I have always been like that though. I remember when I went to school I would wear a jacket all year long. No fake! People used to ask me why I would always wear it. But if they got to know me a little more like Cynthia, it was easily rided off as me just always being cold. Those were the days when I had the nice knee length black leather jacket with the hood. Oh man, I miss that jacket! I could easily go into how hoodies and jackets could easily represent the wall that I alway put around myself to keep my emotions in. Just because that thought has occurred to me before. But I don't feel like it, I am actually not feeling that emotional or depressed as I previously have been this week.
I guess that is one thing I will look forward to about fall and winter. I will be able to wear a jacket and or hoody without being looked like a freak. In the summer its a bit hard to walk around without them. But at least I mastered my ability to finally wear a bathing suit without freaking out! Yay! Standing ovation, please. You've all seen the white bikini with the cute little black hearts, come on!!
Anyway, at least I got Austin's birthday gift today. And I got two new Twilight shirts that mom bought me. /rolls eyes
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