Ashley spent the night last night and we baked some today. While Amy and the boys were here and they played out in the snow. It was fun but honestly I'm really stressed out. I have realized lately how much I depend on plans. And how bad I am when it comes to being a perfectionist. I plan things and try so hard to make things so perfect. And it seems God just doesn't want me to do that. Because he is constantly ruining it. I went to alot of trouble to plan this holiday out. And things keep getting thrown at me. I'm hoping that it will still all work out. And I will be able to see Joseph on valentines day still. I don't care if its him here or me there.. I just want to be with him on valentines day. I just want to see him. I miss him so much. I will get on a plane tomorrow if I have to. But I am noticing that I seriously can't stand not knowing what is going to happen. I want him to tell me what is going to happen. Are you driving here? Leaving friday? Am I flying there? Leaving tomorrow? Friday? Saturday?? JUST TELL ME! I know the weather makes things hard. But oh my gosh! Please just tell me. Please just make a plan and lets stick with it. If the weather ruins it lets go from there. But I can't take this go with the flow attitude he has lol. His work could tell him tomorrow he is having some meeting or he has to go to California or something and he'd be fine with it. But I just don't work like that. I mean I can do anything if you tell me a date and a time probably. And if I had a plan on how I was going to do it. Sigh him and I are just different when it comes to this. Its not a bad thing but its going to take some work on my part. And maybe his too.
No comments:
Post a Comment